i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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