So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
