I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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