I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW