do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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