found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I have fence marks all over my body
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.