Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
