im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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