I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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