went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
