Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
