my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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