he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
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