I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
