These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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