I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
