How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
high people should be assigned attendants
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
