I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
