her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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