I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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