I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
