Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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