I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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