Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
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