Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
