no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
