My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
