How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
