Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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