BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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