You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
