The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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