I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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