Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
my penis made a compromise with my morals
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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