Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
