so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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