God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
