They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
