words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
