this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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