So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
