i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
