im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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