I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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