HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
