How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
