I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
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Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
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I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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