I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
