no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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