All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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