Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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