If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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