I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
