im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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