plz talk dirty to me
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
