ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
