so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
