i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
farters have to be the big spoon...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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