So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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