Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize