She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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