He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
