well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
