South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
