This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
