If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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