this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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