if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
