I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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