Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just pynch a tree in the face
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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