I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
