Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize