then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize