wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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